The alchemy

Rather to be overmindful of your debt is
to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted
earth for mother, and God for father.

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誠實的講

我不懂愛

所以追尋

不知道為什麼 我天生 就很難與他人有親密的互動

甚至也不懂怎麼與父母撒嬌

我一直是屬於接受的那一方 卻也一直心中排斥拒絕別人善意的幫忙

當我終於離開家庭 我漸漸發現自己有能力給予自己

有能力給予他人時 那是快樂的感受

但是 如何給予與接受

真的不是一件容易的事情啊...

在紀伯侖的On Giving中有著最深刻的描繪...

致給予者：

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.

You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights, is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
And what desert greater shall there be, than that which
lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride,
that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.

致接受者：

And you receivers... and you are all receivers... assume no weight of gratitude,
lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has
the freehearted earth for mother, and God for father.